A Conversation with the DH last night after calling myself 'fat & wrinkly'.
"You're not fat" (DH)
"Ok, not fat, overweight" (me)
"You do realise that you'll never have a 6pack (DH)
"Why can't I try?(me)
"You're too old, you're bigger, let's face it, we both are" (DH)
"Well, if you think you're fat now, what were you back then." (DH meaning 2008)
"Obese" (me)
"So back when we met, you used to wear skimpy clothes, you don't anymore!"(DH)
"No, It's not sending the right image to 'xyz'"(me - 'xyz' - not her real name, is our DD)
"But you used to....."(DH)
"Yeah, but I don't like what I see right now" (me)
The conversation went on a little then ended rather abruptly by me saying "......I know you love me for what I am now, But I don't love Me".
Absolute stony silence from the DH.
First I was blown away by his comment that that'll I'll never have a 6pack, I've had 2 kids, my abs are wrecked from that according to him, I'm older (hello dear, only 36!) so there's no point trying! His reaction to my last comment was something else again & probably quite telling of the situation that I've found myself in for the past couple of years trying to get back to where I was in 2010 if I remember rightly. My DH is from a family of 'larger' women. All his paternal aunt's are larger, & his mother&father aren't exactly svelte either. I think the concept of me being slimmer scares him so his support in what I'm doing is virtually non exsistant. Only time will tell if I get more support from him as time goes on - hopefully, with what I'm doing, I can improve my own body image. Maybe then I CAN wear skimpier clothes! Don't worry, I don't subscribe to the latest trend of wearing shorts so short that the pocket linings hang out the bottom or, worse still, the 'bottom' hanging out the bottom!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Stumped at every turn
Sometimes things are sent to try us & some of us take more trying than others. It seems that I get foiled at nearly every turn. Take the smoked salmon I've had twice this week -contains sugar! What about the Chow Mein I had last weekend (thinking it might have been a 'safer' option) aka how to gain 2kg overnight! I'm itching for a stirfry but I'm used to making them with soy sauce. I swear that every soy sauce has wheat in it. Yup, I know that soy isn't Primal, but a decent fermented soy apparently becomes more bio-available (or something) - if only I could get hold of some. I guess somewhere in little ol' New Zealand, we could probably get coconut aminos but from what I've heard, you either like it or loathe it & if I'm knocking up a stir-fry, I have to consider the random tastebuds of my other half too.
The importance of staying away from weighing everyday/week, is often emphasised in a number of different websites that I use for reference. Far better to focus on what you put in your mouth & how you feel rather than hopping on the scales each morning (guilty) or worse still each even as well (guilty). During the first couple of weeks of the year I managed infrequent weigh-ins which was good - liberating almost, but with the event of that rouge takeaway, I'm back to weighing daily - just to make sure that the weight IS actually coming back off again - I mean, up until yesterday, I was heavier than my start weight on Jan 1!
Exercise is important. Unfortunately it takes a deal of concious effort on my part to make it happen. Ususally once I get going I'm fine, it's getting started that's the problem! I was hoping to get quite a bit of kayaking in, but we've been out twice as it's quite windy lately, that & the tide has to be right or we have to wade through mudflats - blergh. So my darling has rigged up this bike for me. Honest, it's an old clunker with 1 gear out of 20? that work. It's all of about 20 years old! I have a new bike on my birthday wish list but I'm just as likely to get a new kitchen gadget which in itself isn't a bad thing but it'd be quite nice to have something just for me.
Using you brain is important - apparently. Pity I didn't get the memo! I didn't use mine to remember sunblock when I took the kids to the beach the other day. The kids almost came off scott free whilst I have the 'delights' of sunburn to the point that the DH is scared to hug me. I'm pissed at my stupidity.
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| image courtesy of the internet! |
The importance of staying away from weighing everyday/week, is often emphasised in a number of different websites that I use for reference. Far better to focus on what you put in your mouth & how you feel rather than hopping on the scales each morning (guilty) or worse still each even as well (guilty). During the first couple of weeks of the year I managed infrequent weigh-ins which was good - liberating almost, but with the event of that rouge takeaway, I'm back to weighing daily - just to make sure that the weight IS actually coming back off again - I mean, up until yesterday, I was heavier than my start weight on Jan 1!
 |
| image courtesy of the internet! |
Exercise is important. Unfortunately it takes a deal of concious effort on my part to make it happen. Ususally once I get going I'm fine, it's getting started that's the problem! I was hoping to get quite a bit of kayaking in, but we've been out twice as it's quite windy lately, that & the tide has to be right or we have to wade through mudflats - blergh. So my darling has rigged up this bike for me. Honest, it's an old clunker with 1 gear out of 20? that work. It's all of about 20 years old! I have a new bike on my birthday wish list but I'm just as likely to get a new kitchen gadget which in itself isn't a bad thing but it'd be quite nice to have something just for me.
 |
| image courtesy of the internet! |
Using you brain is important - apparently. Pity I didn't get the memo! I didn't use mine to remember sunblock when I took the kids to the beach the other day. The kids almost came off scott free whilst I have the 'delights' of sunburn to the point that the DH is scared to hug me. I'm pissed at my stupidity.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Week 2 + 2
Week 2 started out fine - until Saturday & then it just fell to pieces. It started with a small party for my ds's birthday. I'd taken them all swimming at the local pools & bought them home again for some party food but had neglected to prepare myself something. My lunch consisted of a handful of potato wedges, about 7 cocktail sausages, 3 eggs & and afternoon nap. The following day, we had another party. Ds had asked for pizza's so I bought some, & made some as well. I shared my one with my sister when I probably could have eaten the whole thing myself & then promptly scarfed 2 pieces of bought pizza & 3 pieces of birthday cake. Monday I scoffed a couple of chocolates, Tuesday I had birthday cake & chocolates & yesterday I devoured the lion's share of the remainder of the box! Yes, I am only human, but THAT was appalling!
I hate to think of the damage that my scales might indicate but I'm not going to that place!
I now have a scant 4 weeks until my own birthday - mercifully, it's during the week so there's no prolonged partying but in that time I need to put some serious work/effort into myself rather than me putting effort into other people.
I'm off for a ride around the park with the kids between the showers.
I hate to think of the damage that my scales might indicate but I'm not going to that place!
I now have a scant 4 weeks until my own birthday - mercifully, it's during the week so there's no prolonged partying but in that time I need to put some serious work/effort into myself rather than me putting effort into other people.
I'm off for a ride around the park with the kids between the showers.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Week 1!
I've made it through my first week with a more primal focus. So how did I do?
I threw out the Splenda for starters - not that I used it much anyway, but still, it's gone.
In some aspects, having a primal focus hasn't been much different to my method of low carbing - even then I tried eat as much 'natural' food as possible. I couldn't see the point in consuming foods with ingredient lists as long as my arm & with words that were sometimes tounge twisters. Yes, what I'm doing now has just made the list of acceptable foods significantly smaller. Yup. Now I have a challenge on my hands - how to make my food taste just as good as it did 2 weeks ago! I'll admit that I like good food, nay, I love good food BUT I love good food that OTHER people cook. I don't phaff around when I'm cooking for my family - or myself. The other 3 members don't appreciate the effort of phaff & by the time I'm done sorting them out, I've had enough so things stay pretty basic.
Primal Kills - Kitchen Appliance
You read right! I was trying to make some 'balls' with nuts & dates & I managed to completely knacker the bearings in my multi-whizzy thingee. Poor DH just about lost it when it started screaming. Not impressed and it's absence was sorely missed by dinner time!
Last night we had burgers for dinner - problem! Burgers need sauce & nothing in the fridge even closely resembles tomato sauce suitable for a primal diet so what to do? Make some! I think I threw about 6 smallish beefsteak tomatos (really weird - they had no seeds!) into a pot with 2 cloves of garlic, a bit of fresh oregano & rosemary along with 4 peppercorns & cooked until it was a mushy slurry. Since the multi-whizzy thingee threw it's toys out of the cot, I had to pour the whole lot through a sieve & mash it around so I was only left with solids. Something was missing so I chopped up half a Granny Smith apple & tossed that in. Granny Smith's are supposed to be cooking apples BUT I think they took umbridge to being cooked with tomatoes & really didn't soften much at all. Re-enter the sieve & repeat the process, reduced it a bit further & I had a really nice sauce for my 'burger'.
Finally I got on my bike today. I told my DH the other day that with the small size seat, it was going to get lost 'somewhere'. By the time I'd been on the bike half an hour, it certainly felt like it was doing a damn fine job of getting lost in 'that' place. I imagine getting back on that bike tomorrow is going to be a bit of a pain - literally. No pain, No gain ey?
I threw out the Splenda for starters - not that I used it much anyway, but still, it's gone.
In some aspects, having a primal focus hasn't been much different to my method of low carbing - even then I tried eat as much 'natural' food as possible. I couldn't see the point in consuming foods with ingredient lists as long as my arm & with words that were sometimes tounge twisters. Yes, what I'm doing now has just made the list of acceptable foods significantly smaller. Yup. Now I have a challenge on my hands - how to make my food taste just as good as it did 2 weeks ago! I'll admit that I like good food, nay, I love good food BUT I love good food that OTHER people cook. I don't phaff around when I'm cooking for my family - or myself. The other 3 members don't appreciate the effort of phaff & by the time I'm done sorting them out, I've had enough so things stay pretty basic.
Primal Kills - Kitchen Appliance
You read right! I was trying to make some 'balls' with nuts & dates & I managed to completely knacker the bearings in my multi-whizzy thingee. Poor DH just about lost it when it started screaming. Not impressed and it's absence was sorely missed by dinner time!
 |
| Balls of Yum |
Last night we had burgers for dinner - problem! Burgers need sauce & nothing in the fridge even closely resembles tomato sauce suitable for a primal diet so what to do? Make some! I think I threw about 6 smallish beefsteak tomatos (really weird - they had no seeds!) into a pot with 2 cloves of garlic, a bit of fresh oregano & rosemary along with 4 peppercorns & cooked until it was a mushy slurry. Since the multi-whizzy thingee threw it's toys out of the cot, I had to pour the whole lot through a sieve & mash it around so I was only left with solids. Something was missing so I chopped up half a Granny Smith apple & tossed that in. Granny Smith's are supposed to be cooking apples BUT I think they took umbridge to being cooked with tomatoes & really didn't soften much at all. Re-enter the sieve & repeat the process, reduced it a bit further & I had a really nice sauce for my 'burger'.
 |
| My simple tomato sauce! |
Finally I got on my bike today. I told my DH the other day that with the small size seat, it was going to get lost 'somewhere'. By the time I'd been on the bike half an hour, it certainly felt like it was doing a damn fine job of getting lost in 'that' place. I imagine getting back on that bike tomorrow is going to be a bit of a pain - literally. No pain, No gain ey?
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I Don't Think I Thought!
Primal is going to be tough when I consider some of the basic elements without even going into any detail. Natural should be easy enough. Organic would be too if it weren't for one thing - a little thing for some, but for me/us (as a family) it's a BIG thing. A growing young family with a mortgage on a single income that barely scrapes 50K. We manage fine as we are but the difference in costs to go organic are going to work out prohibitive. Does that mean I can't be Primal? Could do if you're a purist! So instead of quitting, I might have to change my subtitle so it reads 'The Hungry Puku - Supermarket Primal' at least until the kids have left home! I consol myself by thinking that it's at least a step in the right direction.
I've been contemplating my pantry this morning looking for contraband. Soy Sauce. I'll replace it with Tamari! No I won't - the Soy is made with wheat, the Tamari with soy. Worchestershire sauce? hmmmm I spy sugar & what's spirit vinegar? The mustard contains sugar & the Splenda must go in the bin. Tomato sauce is off limits. The bacon I just ate for lunch - better not buy that again either Oh, & my favourite 2 seasonings - Garlic Salt & Garlic Pepper - both have rice flour! Rice Flour? Seriously? Last night's dinner would have been significantly improved by the addition of one (or both) of them. I can see me having to spend more time in the kitchen working out how to make my meals taste better!
Exercise is also important in going Primal & exercise is not something I'm particularly fond of with the exception of kayaking. I love it. Yesterday we were out for a casual paddle with the kids (1 adult + 1 child in a 1 person kayak) & the kids had a bit of a swim before we returned - not particularly hard work. Today the wind was stronger & it was a bit harder (considering the heavier child wanted to share my kayak) 2 hours from our start point to the Greenhithe Bridge & back paddling all the way first into the wind & then against the tide. The OH & I discussed the feasibility of fishing the creek for Kawhai or Snapper as we went along. I'm ready for a nap!
I've been contemplating my pantry this morning looking for contraband. Soy Sauce. I'll replace it with Tamari! No I won't - the Soy is made with wheat, the Tamari with soy. Worchestershire sauce? hmmmm I spy sugar & what's spirit vinegar? The mustard contains sugar & the Splenda must go in the bin. Tomato sauce is off limits. The bacon I just ate for lunch - better not buy that again either Oh, & my favourite 2 seasonings - Garlic Salt & Garlic Pepper - both have rice flour! Rice Flour? Seriously? Last night's dinner would have been significantly improved by the addition of one (or both) of them. I can see me having to spend more time in the kitchen working out how to make my meals taste better!
Exercise is also important in going Primal & exercise is not something I'm particularly fond of with the exception of kayaking. I love it. Yesterday we were out for a casual paddle with the kids (1 adult + 1 child in a 1 person kayak) & the kids had a bit of a swim before we returned - not particularly hard work. Today the wind was stronger & it was a bit harder (considering the heavier child wanted to share my kayak) 2 hours from our start point to the Greenhithe Bridge & back paddling all the way first into the wind & then against the tide. The OH & I discussed the feasibility of fishing the creek for Kawhai or Snapper as we went along. I'm ready for a nap!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New Year, New Start
It's been 2 years since I last posted. That sounded remarkably like a confession! but no words are going to absolve me from what I have become - only action will do that!
It's 2013 & time for a fresh start. What's a girl to do? Something, Anything!
I've done 2 years of hard out Low Carb, followed by 2 years of phaffing - sometimes low carb, sometimes moderate & even some throwing caution to the wind & it's not put me in a good place. It's not helped by the people close to me saying that I'm fine - because I know I'm not!
So, here I am in all my blatantgrossness glory. I was 2kg heavier a week ago but hey, it's 2013 now - not a week ago! I am 80.8kg and ready to do something a bit more 'Primal' than 'Low Carb'.
It doesn't seem like it should be a big transition from one to the other but knowing me, I'll probably make mountains out of molehills!
I refuse to fail.
It's 2013 & time for a fresh start. What's a girl to do? Something, Anything!
I've done 2 years of hard out Low Carb, followed by 2 years of phaffing - sometimes low carb, sometimes moderate & even some throwing caution to the wind & it's not put me in a good place. It's not helped by the people close to me saying that I'm fine - because I know I'm not!
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| Shame! |
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| Yikes! |
So, here I am in all my blatant
It doesn't seem like it should be a big transition from one to the other but knowing me, I'll probably make mountains out of molehills!
I refuse to fail.
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